Who's Limbaugh?

Josh Orton published an article on MyDD today called "Whose Limbaugh?" He discusses the argument that's all the rage right now as to whether the stinking Limbaugh mess is actually all a set up from the Democrats.

This is a fascinating discussion, but frankly I'm not up for all the finer points of political gamesmanship right now. I just look at Rush Limbaugh and my stomach begins to churn. He truly makes me sick to my innards.

But, hey, I should be somewhat fair, right? Let's look at what qualifies Rush for all this air time he's getting. Instead of Orton's question of "Whose Limbaugh," I need to answer the question "Who's Limbaugh?"

So, first a few facts about Rush's background. Born in 1951, he hails from Cape Girardeau, Missouri. His father was a lawyer and a fighter pilot who lived to the age of 104. Rush started in radio as a teenager in 1967, using the "air name" Rusty Sharpe. He graduated from high school in 1969 and attended Southeast Missouri State, but dropped out. His mother said, "He flunked everything. He just didn't seem interested in anything except radio." Hmm, some things never change. But, at least he's committed to a noble task.

These were the Vietnam years. Nobility and bravery would mean everything to our boy, Rush, right? Well, he ended up with a draft number of 175, so he was safe -- since no one over #125 was drafted. Nonetheless, our courageous talker would enlist, right? Too bad, he ended up 4-F, due to either a football injury or Pilonidal disease.

Huh?? In real terms, he either twisted his knee or had cysts on his butt.

I need go on and try to answer this simple question "Who's Limbaugh?" Instead, of reading the rest of his biography, I'd like to cut things short.

There's a question that's used on the street, when a kid's in the wrong neighborhood or when his head's getting a bit too big.

First, the kid's shoved in the chest and is simultaneously asked the confrontational questions: "Who are you?! Huh? Who do you think you are?!"

So, Limbaugh, "Who are you?! Who do you think you are?!"

What's the big deal??! You want Barack Obama and America to fail - so do Russia, Iran and N. Korea. You're keeping real good company, Rushie.

All the Dems are atwitter over your mouth, Rush. Isn't that great? You think you're now the leader of the Republicans? Go ahead, Punk! You're gettin' alotta air time on the cable channels. Real slick!

You got Republicans tripping over each other to apologize to you. Yeah, after Phil and Michael, who's next?

Hey, you're all tough over on your street, but here? Fuggeddit. You're a joke, man. There's even a site where your wingnut buddies, can go to make up apologies ahead of time for you. Easy, just like madlibs, fill in the blank. Real easy, Rushie, for guys like you.

Hey, Rush, David Brooks called Sarah Palin a "cancer on the Republican party." What's that make you, huh? Well, if Sarah's a cancer, Rushie, you're carryin' the friggin' casket, buddy! It's over...lights out.

What's your game, you loud mouth?! Whoo, you challenged the President to a debate - in your house. Wow, that takes courage. Real tough. Riiight.

There's only one word that describes you, Rush: Coward. You're a freakin' shame, man.

Yeah, you and your buddy, Billy O'Reilly, you're both the same. He screams and threatens, just like all you bigmouth wingnuts.

So, "Who's Limbaugh?" Huh??

Rush, you can rant all you want, but I'm a boy from Philly, and there's only one thing I have to say to you when you show up on my block:

"Get outta here. You ain't nobody, Punk."